I Thought My Child Was Just Difficult—Until I Learned This

August 7, 2025

If you’ve tried everything and nothing works, you might not be dealing with a difficult child—you might be raising a spicy kid.

The mom hung her head as she told me, “I barely want to admit it, but I’ve thought before…”

Why is she like this?
Why does everything have to be a fight?
Is it me?

She was exhausted from … meltdown after meltdown, power struggle after power struggle.

She kept wondering: Is there something wrong with her? Something wrong with me? 

But then she learned about something that helped them both.

What We Think Is “Difficult” Is Often Something Else

When your child:

  • Melts down over tiny things
  • Can’t handle being told no
  • Becomes aggressive or shuts down
  • Pushes back on every. single. thing…

This behaviour  is rarely about disrespect.

It’s about dysregulation.Their nervous system reacts before their thinking brain gets a vote. What looks like resistance is often panic in disguise.

Why “Nothing Works” With Spicy Kids

If you’ve tried:

  • The 5-minute warning
  • Calm, respectful language
  • Rewards, consequences, bribes
  • Yelling (then feeling guilty)

And your child still explodes, clings, screams, or refuses?

It’s because there’s important information that’s being shared beneath the behavior.
And most parenting strategies only target the surface.

But spicy kids need support that starts in the body—not the brain.

The Moment Everything Shifted

Once she started asking, What’s this behavior trying to tell me? instead of How do I stop it?, things started to change.

She learned:

  • Her child wasn’t “too much”—she was deeply sensitive and didn’t have the tools yet
  • The aggression came from overwhelm, not disrespect
  • The control came from fear, not manipulation
  • Her child wasn’t broken—and neither was she

She finally started looking at behaviour from the BOTTOM UP.
And while it didn’t fix everything overnight, the entire tone of their relationship softened.

Feel like your child is just too much?

Start with the Spicy Kid Freebie and learn:

  • What makes spicy kids tick (and explode)
  • Why typical parenting strategies backfire
  • How to support your child through the dysregulation wave before it crests

You don’t need a new reward system. You need a new lens—and this guide will give it to you.

Spicy kid guide mockup

When You See It Differently, You Parent Differently

What if your child isn’t difficult?

What if they’re deep feeling, reactive, and sensitive—and they just haven’t learned how to ride the waves yet?

And what if you’re not failing, you’re just parenting a child who needs a different roadmap?

Grab the free guide to get the roadmap.

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Hi, I’m Myla Leinweber—a parent educator, coach, and former kindergarten teacher. I help overwhelmed parents of strong-willed, sensitive, or intense kids understand what’s really behind their child’s behavior so they can respond with confidence instead of confusion.

After years of working with families—and being a parent of a spicy kid myself—I created a practical, research-informed framework that supports parents without shame, bribes, or power struggles.

This blog shares stories, tools, and real-life examples to help you decode your child’s behaviour and find more calm and connection.

thanks for being here

 with the free Spicy Kid Guide


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