You love your child more than anything. You’d throw yourself in front of a bus for them, show up at every game, and lose sleep night after night to make sure they’re okay. 

And yet—there are moments you don’t like being around them.

Maybe it’s the constant backtalk, the endless arguing, or the way every small request turns into a battle. Maybe it’s the whining, the door slamming, or the sheer intensity of living with a child who never seems satisfied.

You catch yourself thinking: “I don’t even like my kid right now.”
And then the shame and guilt hit. What kind of parent feels that way?

You’re Not Alone

The truth is, most parents of spicy kids feel this way at some point—but few admit it out loud.

Why This Happens

The hardest part isn’t just the behavior—it’s the mismatch between what you thought parenting would be like and what it actually is.

Maybe you pictured family dinners full of laughter, cozy bedtime routines, or playful afternoons at the park. Instead, you’re managing outbursts, refusals, or endless arguments. That gap between expectation and reality can leave you feeling defeated and resentful.

It’s even more complicated if you have more than one child. One might slip easily into routines, say “okay” when asked, or play quietly. And then your spicy kid—the one who pushes limits, feels everything bigger, or fights every transition—makes the whole household feel like a battlefield.

It’s not that you love one more than the other. It’s that the day-to-day experience of parenting them feels wildly different. And that difference can leave you thinking, “Why is this so hard for me when it looks so easy for everyone else?”

What Helps: Shifting the Mindset

The goal isn’t to erase those hard feelings—it’s to notice how the story you tell yourself about your child shapes them. Learning techniques for handling difficult behavior can make stressful situations feel more manageable.

• See behavior, not character. Instead of “my child is impossible,” reframe it as “my child is showing me how hard this moment is for them.” This shift keeps you from confusing who they are with how they act.
  
• Let go of fixing. When you believe it’s your job to fix your child, every tough behavior feels like proof you’re failing. The truth: your child isn’t broken. They don’t need fixing—they need guiding, supporting, and teaching.
  
• Find moments of connection. Noticing the brief moments you do enjoy your child helps rebalance your perspective.
  
• Reframe the story. Instead of saying, “I don’t like my child,” try, “I’m having a hard time liking the dynamic between us right now.” This creates space for change without piling on shame.
  

When you change the lens, you don’t have to deny the hard parts. You simply stop letting them define your child—or your whole relationship. 

Why This Matters

Applying practical parenting tips can help you manage your feelings and strengthen your relationship with your child. The guilt of not always liking your child can quietly eat away at you. But when you realize it’s normal, and that you can hold both truths—you love them fiercely and sometimes struggle to enjoy them—you stop spiraling in shame and start creating space for repair.

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