What to Do When Your Child Gets Aggressive in a Meltdown

November 14, 2025

Your child’s aggression can feel overwhelming — but with a clear plan, you can stay calm and guide them back to safety.

The Moment Every Parent Dreads

Your child’s face twists in anger, their fists clench, and suddenly they’re hitting, kicking, or throwing. You feel that familiar surge of panic — what do I do now? If I yell, it escalates. If I ignore it, it feels unsafe. If I punish, it doesn’t stop it from happening again.

Why Aggression Happens in Meltdowns

When kids get aggressive in a meltdown, it isn’t because they’re “bad” or “mean.” Their nervous system is in fight mode. Logic is offline, impulse control is gone, and their body is doing the thinking for them. 

That doesn’t mean aggression is okay — but it’s not unexpected when parenting intense, explosive, strong-willed kids, or a highly sensitive child. 

A Safer Way Through

Parents can be confused by the aggression during meltdowns, and find themselves taking the hitting while validating the child “you feel really mad right now, that makes sense!” But that doesn’t give you a plan of what to do mid-meltdown! 

Here’s what actually can help: .

  • Move to stop the hitting.
  • Let them know what they CAN do.
  • Save the talking for when they are calm.

Why You Need a Plan for Aggression

These moments are overwhelming — for your child and for you. Without a plan, you’ll default to yelling, threatening, or freezing. With a plan, you can respond in a way that protects safety and preserves connection.

That’s exactly why I created The Meltdown Plan — a short audio course with real-life plans for when your child is hitting, spitting, or lashing out.

👉 [Get The Meltdown Plan here.]

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Hi, I’m Myla Leinweber—a parent educator, coach, and former kindergarten teacher. I help overwhelmed parents of strong-willed, sensitive, or intense kids understand what’s really behind their child’s behavior so they can respond with confidence instead of confusion.

After years of working with families—and being a parent of a spicy kid myself—I created a practical, research-informed framework that supports parents without shame, bribes, or power struggles.

This blog shares stories, tools, and real-life examples to help you decode your child’s behaviour and find more calm and connection.

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