January is the month parents of spicy kids are waiting for.

The holidays are over, and it feels like other things should end now too.
The over-excitement. The unpredictability. The late nights. The sugar. The everything.

It’s easy to think the meltdowns over the holidays,  the ones splattered with aggression and intensity, are going to come to an end.

And if you have a child who has intense meltdowns, you are often hoping that getting back to routine will be quick and smooth. Routines do matter for kids like ours, so it makes sense to expect some relief.

But January doesn’t always bring it.

Instead, January is when parents start Googling:

“Signs something is wrong with my child.”

Because their child doesn’t just fall back into routine.
And the meltdowns aren’t magically going away.

So… are these signs that something is actually wrong with my child?

Most of the time, what parents are seeing in January is not a sign that something is wrong with their child.

It’s a sign that their child’s temperament makes transitions, overstimulation, and recovery from stress much harder.

Parents tell me it feels like their child is always on the verge of the next explosion. Even when they do everything right, their child melts down over the smallest things.

One parent said it perfectly:
“I thought January would be the reset. But it’s like we just rolled from holiday meltdowns to after-preschool meltdowns.”

When that question lodges in your brain: is there something wrong with my child? you start looking for answers everywhere.

You turn to parenting accounts on social media. But when you hear things like:
Just praise their good behavior.
Don’t give in to the tantrum.
They’ll stop when you validate them.

You’re left thinking:

When is YOUR kid trying to kick you, or rip their artwork off the fridge? Because that’s what I need help with!

Why January Is Especially Hard for Kids With Spicy Temperaments

By January, another thing can happen….resentment  toward your child can start to build.

Why can’t my child just get it together?

It’s hard not to wish your child would try harder or stop, especially when they’re four or older. Especially when you know they understand the rules. Especially when it feels like this is only happening in your home.

This is where temperament matters more than most parents realize.

Temperament is the inborn and unique way your child experiences the world.

If you have a spicy kid, you’ll often notice common threads:

• They are deep processors. They ask big questions and struggle with decisions because they are taking in every nuance.
  • That depth can look like anxiety or fear, because they see all the possibilities in a situation.
• They are easily overstimulated or overwhelmed. They notice everything.
• Sleep can be hard. Transitions can be hard. Change can bring big reactions.
• They may feel pain more intensely, dislike loud noises or strong smells, and react strongly to unpredictability.
• They have high reactivity — loud meltdowns, perfectionism, intense responses to both positive and negative experiences.
• They often feel dysregulated or frustrated but don’t know how to explain what tipped them over.

None of this means something is wrong with your child.

It means they were born with a sensitive system and it’s been working overtime.

Why Routine Can Help… and Still Make Things Worse at First

This is why January can be so hard.

Getting back into routine after weeks of disruption is a transition. It’s a change. It’s a shift.

It requires the ability to push the gas and the brakes fluidly, flexibility that spicy kids often struggle with.

So even though routine helps in the long run, returning to it can temporarily push kids further up the wave before things settle.

If You’re Wondering If You’re Doing Something Wrong

I don’t work with parents who haven’t tried to help their child.

I work with parents who are exhausted, dedicated, and intentional. Parents who wanted to parent differently than they were parented. Parents who wanted not just to love their children, but to support them and build a lasting relationship.

They come to me confused.

How can they be doing all the right things and still feel trapped by meltdowns?

If you’re parenting a child whose meltdowns feel bigger, louder, and harder than everyone else’s, you aren’t imagining it.

The typical advice doesn’t work for kids with spicy temperaments.

That’s why I often suggest starting with The Meltdown Plan.

It helps you understand what to do when your child is overwhelmed, especially in moments that make you wonder if something is wrong, without adding shame or unrealistic expectations.

It gives you a way to move through January with more clarity and less fear.

Learn more about The Meltdown Plan here.

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