A Mother's Day Gift for the Mom Parenting the Intense One

If motherhood has been harder than you expected, and sweeter than you could have imagined, this is for you.

“I love him so much it hurts. And I also feel like I’m hanging on by a thread every single day.”

That’s what one mom shared after a particularly hard week with her six-year-old.

The intensity is real on both ends. The screaming over the wrong cup is real. The headache at 4pm is real. And the moment he climbs into your lap unprompted and says your name like you are the best thing in his world, that is just as real.

Why the Hard Moments Can Start to Crowd Out the Sweet Ones

When your days include a lot of meltdowns, power struggles, or walking on eggshells, something happens almost without you noticing.

It makes sense. Your brain is trying to protect you from being caught off guard again. But over time, that hyper-vigilance means you’re braced even during the good moments. You’re waiting for it to fall apart. You’re already calculating how long the calm will last.

What Changes When You Start to Notice

One of my favourite ideas to share is: what we pay attention to shapes how we experience our lives otherwise known as: Where attention goes, energy flows.

That’s not toxic positivity. The hard parts are hard. This isn’t about pretending otherwise.

It’s about recognising that your spicy kid gives you both, and that you get to hold both.

The full-body joy when they finally master something they’ve been working at. The way they love people with their whole self. The absurd, specific thing they said at dinner that made everyone laugh. The moment they wrapped their arms around your neck and held on.

When you start collecting those moments on purpose, something shifts. The hard stuff doesn’t disappear, but your brain has evidence that there is something else going on too.

The Kind of Mom You Already Are

An important reminder is that your child’s experience of you is likely better than you can even imagine.

Not because every day goes well. Not because you never lose it or never lie awake replaying the afternoon.

Because somewhere in you is the thought of what would have happened if your child was in a different family, in different circumstances instead of getting to be with you, a person who loves and tries.

A Mother’s Day Activity — From Your Child to You

As a little gift this Mother’s Day, and to see what your child REALLY thinks about you, I have linked a free printable activity for your child to fill out about you.

The answers will be specific. Wrong in the best possible ways. And they’ll remind you of what your child actually sees when they look at you.

Print it out, hand it to your child (or write their responses), and feel that heart swelling joy of getting to be their mom.

A Mother’s Day Gift for the Mom Parenting the Intense One

If motherhood has been harder than you expected, and sweeter than you could have imagined, this is for you.
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